Just Can’t Lose*

I feel alright I guess

You could say it’s all in place

But I’m missing you

Listening for sounds

the soundtrack of a marriage 

That’s all I choose

We would drive but not say much

It’s familiar but don’t know why 

so suddenly it feels so bad 

to fill the time with something you want

Hold the judgement I’ve got enough

It’s what I know. It’s every thought.

If I could collapse so much denser

My own black hole to draw you in

Learning To Be Alone*

Sometimes it feels as though 

I want to be alone

Cause no one can stop me

But then the lonely comes

And I can’t be alone

Cause no one will save me

Can I see you when it’s over

Can escape when we are able

We’ll walk until the hours make us sober

For now we just have the fragments of this dream

Better Late*

And this is the time when amnesia would help me

Lost in a history but missing the context

And this is the time when we make a connection

Unsure of the outcome but looking for prospects

I think about you all the time

Create the space for you to occupy

Remember the ways, that you were crucified

But there comes a reckoning

And I dream in worries where I lose everything

if you listen hard enough, the noise is deafening

I wish it were different all the time

I can feel the settling.

And I’d like to think, the illusion escaped me

Truth is to say I fell for it hardest

So if this is the time I’m to feel some affection

I guess that’s the way I deal with that concept

Mutual Sin*

I’m still amazed you took the time

When our history is a series of crimes

The fact of my sin is not disputed

The fact of my guilt is widely known

Don’t sound an alarm. Don’t raise a flag.

Only subtle signals of your fight

I know that you are disappointed 

Try not to resent me as we make our bed.

You’re looking for meaning in sins of the past

I’m Looking for the reasons to let it go 

Tracing the chalk lines of this year 

If you think I mind, I think you know

I’m still amazed you’re so surprised

In the midst of confusion I got mine

Being selfish is only human

being cruel just comes with time

Stockpile*

You tear away at my flesh

Feasting on what’s left

Faster isn’t any fun

For reasons I can only guess

And I keep a stockpile 

And you stay in exile

And at this rate we will never see the end

At this rate I will never understand 

It’s good to hold your feelings close

Trying hard not to explode

False prophets and a riteous curse

Looking back I guess I should have known